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Wednesday, 26 May 2010

Carrington drives Drovers to misery on May heatwave

Vs The Drovers 1st leg

Boom Boom Billington reports

  • Bank of England Ground
  • Sunday 23rd May
  • Maladroits won by 6 wickets

A glorious summer’s day at the Bank of England ground saw another fine Maladroit performance and the 3rd win of the season.

After losing the toss and incurring the wrath of Dom who was all set to do some sunbathing, Boozer led us into the field in the heat of the day. The absence of opening bowler Tricky due to ‘heavy traffic’ meant that Moore and Ryder started the attack. After a few classic Maladroit looseners from Dom he started hitting the mark and ended up getting 1 (bowled) for 27 of 7, while Ryder kept it tight barring the last over where he got slapped around like Tina Turner on her wedding night, final figures 1 (bowled) for 33 of 5.

Eventually Tricky arrived and was bowling within minutes. Some beamers kept the batsmen on their toes and he managed to floor one of the oppo and then bowled him the next ball, classic Maladroit aggression. (1 for 22 of 3).

Matty bowled well to contain the drovers attack and some nifty fielding including a run out gained him Fielder of the Match. His nifty footwork in flicking the ball straight to his hands was also a definite highlight. (0 for 34 off 7)

Although the wickets took a while to fall, after some nifty bowling by Leasy we broke though with a rare LBW decision going our way. An even rarer Ryder catch secured Leasy the most wickets of the day and he ended up 2 for 27 off 4.

Turning to part of our antipodean contingent, Tooves “Dusty’s love child” shuffled his way to almost taking off Wes’ head who obligingly nutted the ball onto his own stumps. (1 for 33 off 5)

Carrington came on for a quick spell and kept it tight conceding on 10 runs of 3 overs.

A miscalculation from Boozer meant that Matty was lined up to bowl an 8th over and as the maximum was 7, Chad was put into the fray. After getting his first wicket of the season (bowled) he then managed to put one about 3 metres wide, showing true Maladroit consistency. (1 for 8 off 1)

Score at the turn was Drovers 223 for 7.

Tea was a sedate affair with scones, cakes and sandwiches as well as a choice of Earl Gray or Builders, a huge step up from the previous day’s effort but not a touch on an average Maladroit match tea.

Carrington and Brewer started off the Maladroit batting and although JC managed to get dropped first ball and then twice more he went on to score an impressive 111 retd. Boozer’s excuse that he couldn’t hit an attacking shot were proved to be a fallacy as he went on to get a commendable 34, eventually being caught behind.

Matty then step in and smacked a few to the boundary before being caught behind for 25, and Ash got to 7 before facing a straight one and being bowled.

With only 15 runs to go Chad stepped in to join JC only to see him retire, then in walked Jamo. It only took a ball for Leasy to reach for the trigger finger to see a discuss Jamo storm of the field shaking his head. Sorry Jamo I saw it and it was plum. Ryder then turned up half dressed as he thought it was all over and was half way to his car. He scored a couple of runs before Chad finished off the game with 2 swipes for 6 that Timmy would be proud off, ending another fine Maladroit performance.

Stats for day:

MOM: Carrington

Fielder of the day: Boland

DOD: Tricky (punctuality)

Sunday, 23 May 2010

MCC canter over the line in low scoring feisty thriller

Maladroits vs Full Tossers, Saturday 22ndMay 2010.

Regents Park

MCC won by 5 wickets

Ed "raw knuckles" Lock reports

Confidence was curiously high following a loss to a bunch of kids the previous week and a real schlep to even locate the pitch at Regent’s Park. This was likely due to the sunny 21oC weather with a constant force 2 making for near perfect playing conditions.

So, as usual, the Droits were first to field and the high performance bowling line up soon took hold. Ryder and Byrne piled on immediate pressure and Matty at first change bowled consistent line and length to ensure a steady trickle of wickets to reduce the oppo to 67 for 6 at drinks.

After drinks things hotted up as the oppo’s ‘nothing to lose’ attitude peppered Byrne and Ryder on the boundary. However, above average fielding pinned the Tossers (sorry, “Full Tossers”) down, in particular JC’s direct hit securing the first of two run outs. Even with 5 dropped catches to 3 secured and a constant pitch invasion from wayward Europeans and 8 year old chavs, strong bowling and attentive fielding ensured the oppo came to a premature end of 123 from 29 overs, with Matty and Watts taking 3 wickets each.

On leaving the field for a well deserved tea, our high spirits were quickly shattered. Blue cheese sandwiches in the hot baking sun? Simply unacceptable. Ryder conveyed the team’s frustrations with a slightly raised voice.

After tea, JC and Locky took the stand to a particularly aggressive opening pair whilst the rest of the oppo seemed content supping beers and heckling (badly), most likely consoling their own fear that 123 was short against an on form Droits attack. JC notched up a quick 22 before being bowled followed by Tooves out to a young Gough-esqe in swinging yorker. After a stoic Lock was bowled for 17 from 18 overs (another record broken), Watts and Mikey steadied the ship against what were now a particularly inebriated and irritating oppo. Mikey’s quick and commendable 17 including a ma-hoosive 6 over long on, was supplemented by constant byes from a pink gloved and possibly blind oppo wickey. As the target grew closer, it was now playtime for Chad and Lees. The very obtainable 123 was achieved with a stylish 4 from Chad epitomising an all round strong performance from the Droits.

Quote of the day –

Oppo: “Let’s not heckle the umpire lads, he’s got it wrong twice but I’m sure he’ll get it right soon”.

JC: “That is heckling you f*cking idiot!”

DOD: Ryder (by default due to no individual gaffs)

MOM: Watts (22 runs and 3 wickets)

Fielder: JC (direct hit for run out)

Thursday, 20 May 2010

Charterhouse Schoolboys take the honours again..

Alex "Bobby" Less reporting
  • v Charterhouse Maniacs
  • Charterhouse School
  • Maniacs won by 5 wickets

The Maladroits arrived at Charterhouse eager to make up for the drubbing they took the previous year at the hands of the young Maniac side. The omens didn’t look good when an admin oversight by captain Boozer meant that the Maladroits fielded only 10 players. With Glen and Tooves running late and the Maladroits down to 8 players, the Maniacs graciously conceded the toss and allowed the Maladroits to bat first in the wet and miserable conditions. It was due to the Maniacs eagerness that the game went ahead as this reporter feels that if the game was played at Sheen then it would have been called off a long time before the start.

The Maladroits opened up with Ash and Lees, and they provided a solid start with Ash playing the Botham role to Lees’ less flamboyant Boycott. Runs flowed from Ash in a torrent, with rather more a trickle from Lees at the other end. Ash looked in fine touch with the ball coming out of the middle of the bat and set the Maladroits innings off at a fair lick. He got slightly fortunate a couple of times with dropped catches and some big swings and misses, but these were far outweighed by some cracking shots to the boundary ropes.

Ash was finally out agonizingly short of his half century for a well played 46 as he was clean bowled attempting another big hit. Next in was the newly wed Ryder, but I hope he lasted longer on his wedding night as he departed for a first ball 0 after edging behind. Tooves stopped the rot momentarily but was out soon after for 10, and he was soon followed by Lees for 35 and another Maladroit collapse looked on the cards. With Boozer out for a second ball duck, a low score looked a distinct possibility but fortunately Chad and Glen steadied the creaking ship and started a useful partnership.

Both batsmen looked in good nick and dispatched the bad ball to the boundary. Chad was out caught behind for 22 and was soon followed by Dom for a duck. Tricky joined Glen at the crease and hit a couple of boundaries early on to push the score along. Glens dismissal for a well played 27 meant the ever improving Fisher came out as the Maladroits last man. Scouse added to his lifetime average with an assured 1 not out as Tricky was last man out for 14, with the Maladroits making 176 (need to check as didn’t put that in email to me!!). The Maladroits fought back well to reach this score, but it looked slightly below par with the short boundaries and quick outfield.

The rain continued to fall as the Maladroits took the field for the Maniacs innings. The new ball was given to Tricky and Dom, and they opened up strongly with Tricky providing pace down the hill and Mustaq swing at the other end. Tricky was rewarded with 2 early wickets and showed good early season promise. Both wickets came from catches as was to become a theme in the match as the Maladroits took their chances (apart from Boozer and Ryder) in the field. Dom ended up with 3 catches, Glenn 2 and Chad pulled off a nonchalant one handed fine effort. The game moved on at a fast pace as the Maniacs looked to hit boundaries and it was obvious that the match would come to a swift conclusion either way, much to the Maladroits relief in the persistence rain. Ryder and Glenn came on as the change bowlers and tried to stem the flow of runs. In the whole they were successful as Ryder, with his new stock slower ball claimed 2-24 from 4 overs and Glen bowled a lot better than his figures of 1 for 45 from 7 overs suggests.

Wickets did fall, but this bought the Maniacs best batsman to the crease and all the bowlers suffered as he plundered the attack. Lees, Ash and Tooves all tried their luck, with mixed fortunes against well set batsmen, but Tooves did pick up a wicket through Chads great catch. The Maniacs cruised to victory in the end as the Maladroits couldn’t force a break through and it always looked unlikely that they would be able to defend their total. There was some crumbs of comfort for the Maladroits to reflect on with a solid display in the field, good catching, some cracking shot making from Ash at the top of the innings and a fine all round performance from Glenn.